I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
