sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
