Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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