She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize