how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
