at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
