i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
two words...techno handjob
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
