In the future we'll all be gay
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
