Got a toothbrush?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
