Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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