Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
