in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
