Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize