a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
