I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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