Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
