you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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