i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We don't watch enough power rangers
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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