she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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