we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
