Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
D3 body, D1 cock
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it's like iHOP with fire
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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