Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i've created a new STD.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
