im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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