I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When are your genitals available?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
