I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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