yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
