I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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