were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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