Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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