We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
