Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
