I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
