He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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