i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
