dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No subtext here. People are naked.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
