is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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