I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
