I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
