Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize