somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize