Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
