u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
