Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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