It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
