I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
