my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
