I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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