Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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