Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
