I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
