Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
