she's into porn, im staying here tonight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
