I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
