i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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