I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
