Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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