U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
