I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im having a threesome with these popsicles
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
