well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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