So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize