I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
