no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
