see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
