if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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