Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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