Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
