But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
