im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm really busy with my period
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