do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
are you so shy because you have an std?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
