no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
