you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
