I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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