I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
