Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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