Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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